Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Souther Women

I arrived home in Texas for Thanksgiving this last Sunday! It's fabulous to be home. The weather is fluctuating between a lovely fifty and seventy degrees, the trees are filled with Amber and orange colored leaves, and my home is warm, clean and filled with the smells and memories I love- as always!

To be honest...my days at home are some what filled with frivolous things such as getting pedicures with my Mom, working out, and painting... but I feel that making these memories with my family, and simply being around more than a I often is, is worth more than anything "productive" I could be taking part in! So in my eyes.. I suppose these activities are not frivolous after all!

I am closing the deal as an Au Pair for Sophie in Paris or Milagros in Madrid some time in the next week. I'm currently trying to decide which place I would rather be in more. Lots on my mind as always! Loving just being home and around the people that love me no matter what! Short blog today.. so long until next time! Pictures to come soon.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

"Start wearin' purple....wearin' purple!"

At times I feel like my mind has taken off... without any hope of being caught. Shakespeare once said... "The greatest battle we ever fight is the one within our own minds." I find this to be very true, and very real within my own life. I have goals and desires... yet some times I feel that I have temporarily lost all control... I can not focus... I must just follow my subconscious desires and for a few minutes.. (or hours), give in to my mind by completely tuning out to others around me into a state of oblivion that all too often comes during an important conversation or stressful moment. I have come to believe that this tuning out habit I have is a gift, but must be bridled to only be let out at certain times. I I have also realized that perhaps it is some what of a defense mechanism... put in place when my mind is not sure where to go...when these moments of apprehensiveness come... my mind creates a new hiding spot within my subconscious.

Lately during these episodes of oblivion... (that so often annoy everyone else around me), my thoughts have been consumed with detailed thoughts of the past.. which then turn to what I'd would like to change and accomplish in the future. I have realized that I have so many interests and desires that it is nearly impossible for me to focus in on just one at a time. There are so many things that I want to learn and accomplish... the world is full of so much bad.... but even more good! Good opportunities... good people... and good ideas that one simply must take hold of and do something about! Here is a list of things that I love...that most people have no clue about....

Photography... I love to take pictures.. I have them all backed up on my computer... edited and dated... yet few have ever seen them. It is simply expression to me... I don't want to compete with EVERYONE who seems they are attempting to become the next best photographer... I simply want to document the BEAUTIFUL things I see in everyday life!

Crafts... creating all kinds of random crafts with the art supplies and old fabrics I have accumulated from semester to semester. Frankly, as much as I feel like an idiot admitting this.. I truly believe that these creations are beautiful... visionary... and that many people would be willing to buy them. My friend Rachel and I are secretly beginning to put our combined artsy ideas on eBay...for our new business scheme... "DirtyRock," which we will be really jumping on during our trip to Europe in January 2010.

Painting.. Most people know about this love of mine... however what most people don't know is that the reason I love it is not because of the outcome of the painting... which is all too often disappointing to me... as an art perfectionist. What I love most is the feeling of paintbrush, full of paint, smoothly gliding across the canvas. I could play in colorful pain all day long.. simply brushing it on.. whether making a distinct design or not. There is something that feels pure, relaxing, and trust worthy about knowing that the paintbrush will do exactly what your mind tells it to do..some what similar to the life we live..the only thing we have control over is the actions we take, yet we do not know exactly what the outcome will look like once it is layed down next to the previous steps and choices (brush strokes, and colors), we have made previously. We must simply let life fold out... after taking the time to make wise decisions.

I love music. I love nothing more than finding a new favorite song that moves my heart and inspires me... and listening to it literally hundreds of times in a row. Some people might find this boring, or repetitive... but I find it exhilarating. I feel that music is becoming part of who I am. The most recent song discovery is 'O Come, O Come Emanuel,' by Trace Bundy and Jason Garrells. Check it out... FABULOUS!

I love driving in my car... with my favorite music on... my car at the perfect temperature, utterly alone... until I get completely lost. Preferably at sunset.

I LOVE to get in my bed in the afternoon after a long day at school and listen to music on my laptop while checking my emails and facebook.

I LOVE to confront people. Mainly when they deserve it... or when think that they have the license to be rude to those who can't help their circumstance and do NOT deserve it at all. The pleasure that I find in putting idiots in their place is wrong, bratty, and very immature. Nevertheless.. it is a guilty pleasure, something I love, and something I truly believe needs to be done to all of us every once in a while to keep us humble. It is especially needed when others cannot stand up for themselves. When I'm helping someone else let their voice be heard is when I truly feel it is worth it... and not uncalled for.

I love to clean other people's kitchens. I can't keep my house clean to save my life... but cleaning other people's junk up into pristine perfection inspires me to no end.

I love the idea of becoming a Doctor, a Psychologist, a Mom, an Interior Designer, a Photo journalist, a TV anchor, a Marathon Runner, a business woman, and a Hippie.

I Love to Run... but only about a mile at a time. I have no stamina.... but I am addicted to the adrenaline that comes after nearly dying on the last stretch of my work out... the clarity and perspective that comes to me concerning my lives decisions and the next step I should take in order to be a successful individual is absolutely wonderful.

I love awkward situations. I love to make awkward situations for other people... and I love to try and find my own way out of the ones I find myself in. Very strange, and very mean I know.

There are so many more things I could list... but I won't. Otherwise this blog could last for days. As a whole... sometimes it's worth our while to stop and appreciate the small things we love in our day to day lives instead of always just waiting for the big 'life changing' events to occur. Some times it's absolutely necessary to let out minds wonder into oblivion.. into a our secret thoughts and desires... and think about a way to make all of our loves and desires a reality!

PS. I just got sent a contract from Sophie Montaye in Paris, France to be her nanny. I am now trying to decide between the Montaye's, and two other Spanish families from Madrid. All adorable kids, all awesome locations... who do I choose?!?!?!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

So much to say... but what do I write?

There's so much on my mind...especially because it is approximately 1:00 AM in the morning! I am currently shivering in Rexburg Idaho, wondering just how cold weather is capable of getting!?!?! (Though I'm not sure I really want to know the answer).

Behind the name and face of Kortney Cooper, life has never failed to be short of a whirl wind of emotion and constant deep thought. Perhaps too much to even consider writing in a blog. As I sit staring into the dark night through a frost covered window, I can't decide what to think about....much less write about first. In the past year 'Life' has taken several unexpected turns. All of which I feel blessed to say I am a better and stronger person for! However, I feel it has come time for a change. A big change. A change of scenary. A change of focus, and of priorities. As I seek out the some what daunting idea of "CHANGE," that we all so often avoid... I am going to Document. I am going to document the everyday joys of my life. I am going to document the everyday frustrations, tender mercies, simple pleasures, and miracles of the people, places, and things that make up the life of a wide eyed Texan twenty year old that is finding her way in the world- day by day.

As insignificant as I feel sending my random, simple thoughts out into cyber space for any and all intelligence to see... if this documentation of one life can bring some joy, laughter, or direction to even one person... as I attempt to speak out about the mysteries of this mind boggling place we call the world- than perhaps documenting will be worth it.